Pandai Tak Lawan Nasib

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There is a saying our mother once shared with us - one she carried quietly through the decades since we left our Bedok kampong in 1974. She was just thirty‑six then, leaving behind the house our family had lived in since 1954, a home that had shaped twenty years of our lives.

Now, at almost eighty‑eight, she recalls a moment with her late mother‑in‑law, spoken in soft Peranakan Baba Patois - a reminder passed from one generation to the next: “Pandai tak lawan (melawan) nasib.” Cleverness cannot overcome fate (or blessings).

It was a simple line, yet it held the weight of lived experience. Our paternal grandmother was telling her daughter‑in‑law not to carry the world on her shoulders - that no matter how smart, capable, or resourceful we may be, there are currents in life we cannot command. We may be pandai, but without the right nasib, things may not fall into place. And sometimes, even without great cleverness or advantage, good nasib can open paths we never expected.

As we look back on our kampong days, the truth of that saying feels even more poignant. Our nasib once carried us away from Bedok, scattering our lives into different neighbourhoods, different routines, different futures. Yet it is the same nasib that has drawn us back together again - reconnecting us through memories, photographs, and stories of the place that shaped us.

In the end, pandai tak melawan nasib is not a resignation. It is a gentle acceptance - a reminder that life unfolds in its own rhythm, and nasib brings us home in ways we never imagined.

1957: Our paternal grandmother posing in our garden, with the Sultan of Pahang's home right behind her


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